The /a/ Loveline

Wait. Wait. Wait. Hanako did you say 40% Is it cauterized? Scar tissue? Any infection?

Does it smell of Bacon?

Things get hot an heavy, your skin starts coming off you yell “landing gear!” and he stops. You see what I’m saying?

Well, Like I said. Maybe he’s into it. Get laid. Lick your back, it tastes like corned beef. What’s not to love?

>No, she’s been deaf since birth.

I’m trying to picture deaf lesbian sex.

>Well that’s just it, He’s learned sign language too!

Atta boy! Go get, em champ! High school? I had a girl asked me to get a haircut, I dumped her. This guy is learning goddamn sign language? This must be the Olympic gold medal winner for pussywhipped!

Stuff it, Drew. What I was saying is that gay guys, they find other gay guys. Might be a straight guy they like, but the straight guy is not going to have sex with him. See what I’m saying? Lesbians, they meet a straight girl, a girls going to be a little more experimental, you see what I’m saying.

So a lesbian is more likely to get a taste. You see what I’m saying. Like Shiina here, got a taste. That’s it. That’s your lesbian heartbreak for you. It’s always harder after you get a taste. It’s not right, Drew, it’s not right.

Just a second, Drew just a second. I’m gonna get an answer out of her. Rin, are you high, that’s a yes or no question.

>I’m on the third floor.

Well, OK, for those of you just joining us I love my job, Rin is 18, wants to paint a guy naked, is high on Codeine, I love my job, and is calling us to talk him into doing it. I love my job. OK, spray-n-wash, now you tell me why you want to paint this guy naked, is that just your thing.

I do it because I love you people. That’s what I’m saying basically. You’re retarded, burned, blind, call in. We’re here for you. So, Lilly, what’s going on?

>Hi guys, first time caller I was juts wondering about damage to the hymen.

>Hahaha. Well, there’s this guy who I’ve gotten really close with, and it’s clear that we’re going to move in that direction.

Just a second, Lilly. Just a second. Drew, virgins on their way. Lambs to the slaughter. Want to know about their hymens.

It’s your voice the way you talk you sound like you’re hot. I don’t mean like your voice is sexy, but it is kind of, I mean like the way you talk. You talk like a hot chick.

>I’d say I’m pretty attractive.

Yeah. Yeah, you see, Drew, even the blind hot chicks know they’re hot. Amazing. Just extraordinary.

>I was just wondering about Anal intercourse.

Listen, Emi, we see this a lot. Girls with strained relationships with their parents for whatever reason compensate with acting out-


Oh, god. Drew did you hear it?

Why the hell do you think you are ready for anal sex when you can’t even get out a goddamn ladder to change a goddamn battery!?

>Ladders and me do not mix

Of course not! You have a vagina! You don’t seem interested in using it right now, but never the less you have one, and SOMEHOW that disqualifies you from ever climbing up a goddamn ladder. Ladder? Penis use only! My God.

>Hey, guys. I’m getting really sexually active these days once or twice about every other day, but it’s getting harder. I suffer from Arrhythmia.

If you keep on abusing your heart putting it through that kind of wear and tear, the heart reaches over two hundred beats per minute during orgasm.

Yeah, it would be pretty horrible?

Horrible? I can’t think of a better way to go.

>I was doing security research in Cosmo magazine to better grasp the enemy.

The enemy?


>My research revealed that Women can have multiple orgasms.


>Multiple orgasms…



Oh, you mean the so called G-spot and the clitoris?


He was abducted and taken to medical school agent Mulder. OK? Yes women can have multiple orgasms.

No, but the point that he brings up is a valid one, and that is that the way women experience orgasm is wired very differently from men. It centers around two erogenous zones, the clitoris and the g-spot. Each can produce their own orgasm.

Like shifting gears in a taurus?

No, full orgasm one and full orgasm two.

I’ll be dammed. When I got my first glance at the pink I didn’t think I was staring down a double-barreled orgasm shotgun.

>This explains everything. I have one orgasm, so she can suck my energy out and give one to herself. My God, how deviant.

Kenji are you calling directly from crazytown or are you just from there originally?

11/10 thread, OP. 11/10.


  1. AozuAkazu Said,

    January 15, 2012 @ 7:34 pm

    Saw this thread. Absolutely hilarious. Though first time I saw Loveline it reminded me of Persona 4 =/

  2. whisper Said,

    January 15, 2012 @ 7:59 pm

    Ahahahahaha… that was great. I haven’t visited /a/ in ages, but the KS lines were hilarious. Makes me sorta want to check out the game so I can understand it more.

  3. S_1 Said,

    January 15, 2012 @ 10:48 pm

    They aint stopping…

    Homura ;_;

  4. AidanAK47 Said,

    January 16, 2012 @ 12:19 am

    I am having trouble laughing at this. Especially the Hanako one. Not cool man. Not cool.
    Maybe it’s because I played the game but seeing these guys take the piss out of girls (Fictional though they may be) I have come to care about while reading their stories only serves to piss me off more than laugh.

    But maybe I need to lighten up…

  5. Heero Yuy Said,

    January 16, 2012 @ 5:49 am

    Hahahahahha, that was the best thread I’ve read in years!

  6. moonmeh Said,

    January 16, 2012 @ 5:21 pm

    You have no idea how much better you made my day

  7. Kurogane Shiroikaze Said,

    January 16, 2012 @ 6:13 pm

    Glad to have made a difference.

  8. Hyuga Said,

    January 18, 2012 @ 11:54 am

    The archive link is down, anyone has another link or a back up of the thread?

  9. Perry Como Said,

    January 19, 2012 @ 4:18 am

    A mysterious message coming from nowhere…

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