Police vs Driver

Apparently real story that happened in Malaysia. Here’s the original dialog in Malay:

Polis: Encik, tadi u tak ada nampak lampu merah kah?


Polis: Kenapa u masih jalan?

Driver: Saya ada nampak lampu merah, tapi saya tak ada nampak u……

Polis: !@#$%^&*()

Driver: bagi peluang ..tuan…

Polis: peluang bagi dgn macam mana??

Driver: bagilah peluang..

Polis: ya.. dgn macam mana??

Driver: biasa looo..

Polis: macam mana biasa..???

Driver: wei.. u pura pura ke atau hilang ingatan ar..

Polis: ape u maksud??

Driver: haizz.. u memang sedang bazirkan masa saya ..bagi saman…CEPATTTT…

Polis: saman RM200 o.. fikir baik baik …

Driver: wei.. u tak faham maksud saya ka.. suruh u bagi then jus bagi la..
apasal mau cakap banyak… u punya head suruh u mari sini chating
ar?? mau saman then cepat sikit.. hanya ta hu bazir masa saya..
saya sanggup bayar saman ini pun tak akan bagi u minum .. biar u

Polis: )*&@&%$#(_!+%!&%)(!_$@&$_!@(%&!@&%!)

English translation:

Police: Sir, did you see the red light just now?

Driver: Yes.

Police: Then why did cut over it?

Driver: I saw the red light, but I didn’t see you…

Police: !@#$%^&*()

Driver: Give me a chance, sir.

Police: What do you mean?

Driver: Aiya…give chance lah…

Police: Ya, how?

Driver: As usual lor…

Police: What you mean by “as usual”?

Driver: Wei, you pretending or stupid arr?

Police: What you mean by that?

Driver: Haizz…. you really wasting my time lar…. gimme the summons.. quick quick…

Police: Summons RM200 wor… think carefully.

Driver: Wei… you don’t understand me ka? I ask you give, just give lor. Why want to talk so much…. ur head here for chatting arrr? Want give summons then give… only know how to waste my time here. I rather pay the summons than give you “drink”…. let you thirsty.
(Note: In Malaysia, bribes are referred as “duit kopi”, literally “coffee money”)

Police: )*&@&%$#(_!+%!&%)(!_$@&$_!@(%&!@&%!)


  1. Nighty Said,

    September 16, 2006 @ 5:06 pm

    That loser bit off more than he can chew.

    My mother and I just needed “Tolonglah, kasi satu chance-lah, while slipping an RM10 into his palm.”

    Asking a cop to do the “usual thing” is asking for yourself to look like an idiot. No ones mentions the word coffee money to the cop, even if he recieves it.

  2. Hahar Said,

    September 16, 2006 @ 5:32 pm

    Polis should not only saman him but slap him with a warrant for attempt to bribe an officer. Then 200 become 2000 + 20 days in jail :D

  3. Hayate Said,

    September 16, 2006 @ 5:49 pm

    Heh… and he sounded even more arrogant trying to cover up his mistake.

  4. Enz Said,

    September 16, 2006 @ 9:05 pm

    I’m surprise I can still read some Malay. :D

  5. tj han Said,

    September 16, 2006 @ 9:38 pm

    Lol that is nothing compared to the Indonesian Army firing bazookas and destroying a police station in Medan.

  6. PabloDSZ Said,

    September 16, 2006 @ 11:21 pm

    In Puerto rico, crime its so bad, you have to pass all red lights when its pass 9:00, cuz sum dude will come up asking u for money with a rock on his other hand, if u say no, most likey, u’ll end up with a broken glass

  7. PabloDSZ Said,

    September 16, 2006 @ 11:23 pm

    ohh, in ZnT ep 10, saito kisses Louise at the end, visit my site to se pics, or just view it raw on youtube

  8. Tsubaki Said,

    September 17, 2006 @ 12:00 am

    I wish things like this happened in Singapore. LOL.

  9. Elohir Said,

    September 17, 2006 @ 1:40 pm

    Unlikely tsubaki, the moment the copper see’s money, it’s of to prison. Oh they joy’s of uncorrupt police.

  10. what Said,

    September 17, 2006 @ 11:59 pm

    Er, was this translation a joke? Was it intentional to make the the Malaysians sound like retarded idiots?? Is this the way they normally speak?

  11. i know malay Said,

    September 19, 2006 @ 6:32 pm

    driver ini mesti wang terlalu banyak punya,
    bagi saya lagi baik /wakaka

  12. Edseverripit Said,

    September 20, 2006 @ 12:15 pm

    Ahh Malaysia… How I miss the car and anger fuelled crazyness :D That’s why we say to drive offensively if we drive a car :)

  13. manis Said,

    November 22, 2006 @ 8:58 am

    Malaysia = multiracial nation…
    base on the dialog above
    police = man with Indian language influence…
    driver = man with Chinese language influence…

  14. draygourn Said,

    January 9, 2007 @ 5:59 pm

    lol, its a wonder how I come here and read this, while I am a Malaysian myself.

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