Love is seriously messing me up…..
Ever since I’ve come in terms with my feelings earlier, I’m feeling even more confused than before. I think I’m also getting quite a lot of negative feelings as well, mostly because of jealousy,I guess, which kinda makes me do really stupid things.
In fact, I’m actually back at my hometown right now, and I’m resenting every moment of it, as I can’t see her (plus of course, I’m under a load of ‘lecturing’ by my parents :P). Now I know, firsthand, on why love can be such a powerful driving force.
Sad to say, consequently, I’m not watching anime nor even interested in doing other stuff(like blogging), other than to find ways to spend time with her _|-|0”’. My superego and id are seriously clashing with each other on stupid things like, whether should I learn pool or not (since she has a serious preoccupation with it now) to installing Yahoo! Messenger (FYI, I’ve hated using official IM clients as they’re too feature bloated) just to use some extra features.
I’ve tried to do other stuff actually, like watching movies or reading books, to try and distract myself from thinking about her, but everything that I do… somehow my brain manages to connect it back to her and now, I’m actually writing all this out on my blog, haha.
Conciously, I somewhat do realise that this is a stage I might grow out from, and that I might love another one later, but this is the first time in my life, I’ve seriously having this feelings. I’m really sorry to the readers of my blog, expecting witty write-ups(yeah, right) and reviews on anime, as this blog is meant to be, instead, getting stupid and inane ramblings about an immature 18-yr old rambling about his first love :P, but I assure you, I *will* try to keep this blog back on track ;), especially(and hopefully) when the Spring Season goes on full swing.